There are many places I would like to go visit. Costa Rica was never one of them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I had anything against pura vida, sloths, or great coffee. I just had other destinations in mind. I am also not a Woo-Woo person. I have just enough Woo to be mistaken for a Woo-Woo person, but I’m not all in. So when I was invited to a meditation retreat in Costa Rica, I had my reservations. But the universe was talking to me when she invited me, so I listened. See what I did there?

So I went. I came back with a few gifts. Coffee was one of them. Amazing headbands that fit my unusually large and flat head are another. I also regained the capacity to empathize—I had literally lost the ability to empathize in the whirlwind of really toxic and terrorizing events that unfolded daily over months at work. I also came back with a new and amazing friend group of really smart and empathetic women who are so brave and kind and supportive (Hi, CR Sisters!).

I came back grounded to be able to make difficult decisions. The time away and intentional mindfulness helped me get back in touch with my gut and my heart. I came back with an inner peace and a reminder that I already have everything I need inside of me. So I made the difficult decision to take an early retirement and start my own business. I went to Costa Rica to get grounded again, and I came back unemployed.

What does a psychotherapist, writer, and marketer know about starting a business? Great question. It’s a real question, not the setup of a joke. The answer is, next to nothing. I’m also allergic to math, and I think there’s numbers (math!) involved in the whole income/tax/bookkeeping part of business. So I took advantage of learning opportunities and my network, and the universe rallied around me to help me make the next right decision every single step of the way. I’ll take a side of Woo with my entrée of Hustle please.

But this early retirement didn’t feel celebratory. This business launch didn’t feel exciting. Because I felt forced into these decisions. I need to pay my bills and this was not part of my careful life planning. I’m over the bitterness and resentment, but I had not embraced this fully as a clear positive yet.

Then I remembered two things. One is that I firmly believe words have meaning, and I can turn “This happened to me,” to instead be “This happened for me.” I can say “I am an unemployed grifter,” or I can say “I am retired and I am doing what I love.” In a world where I cannot control much, I can control what words I use.

I remembered the second thing when a friend noted that he was so excited for my business launch. I was about to reply, “I don’t know if I’m excited, but I know I’m anxious and nervous and scared.” And in that moment, I suddenly remembered Costa Rica.

One day, we were heading out to go ziplining on the side of a volcano, up above the jungle tree line. A young family sat behind me on the ride up, and two little girls (one was about 7 years old, and the second was about 12 years old) were talking. The younger girl asked if she was going to die that day. The older girl reassured her that today would not be the day. And that she has found it helpful to remember that her heart starts beating faster and her stomach gets butterflies when she is both excited and when she is scared. The older girl told her that when the younger girl is scared, she can tell herself that she could also be excited. Same feelings in the body. Both can be true at the same time. Excited and scared.

Thank you, wise child. Thank you, Costa Rica. Thank you, Universe. I will now excitedly take a full serving of the Woo and go about excitedly marketing myself and hustling like my mortgage depends on it. Because it actually does. All of these can be true. Woo True.