I feel like we, as a society, don’t talk about women’s health issues enough. And that even very educated women tend to minimize our symptoms. So I’m here to overshare and contribute to course correcting this phenomenon, and to continue the importance of women helping women and holding each other up. If not for my sisters from other misters, I would have just sucked it up and slowly suffered in silence.

We as women tend to do this, suffer in silence and plow through—it’s part of our charm after all. Certainly there are some instances when we raise a ruckus (please stop assaulting us), but overall we keep our heads down and continue making the world go round. Because that wet towel on the floor is not going to pick itself up. Fortunately, we also vent to each other. And it’s in these spaces where we find our collective voices.

Two games women like to play are “Does this make me look fat?” and “I am so old, that I _______ .” It is the latter game that allowed me to connect the dots that I was in menopause. You would think being 52 years old would have tipped me off. But I have had an IUD for many years, and have been grateful that it has stopped all my periods. That in itself was so freeing. I highly recommend it. I had not realized how much time and bandwidth I lost from the bloating, physical aches, discomforts, and inconvenient and messy bleeding. It felt like I literally gained half of each month back.

But because I no longer had a period, I did not tie any menopause symptoms to actual menopause because I didn’t have the menses as an anchor point. And because the symptoms came on gradually, they were easy to dismiss. Night sweats? I literally attributed to global warming. A non-judgmental friend asked kindly, “In your bedroom though?” Some days are better than others for me.

The increased frequency of urinating, thinning hair, brain fog, fatigue, greasy hair—those all came on one at a time, slowly and quietly like a cat burglar. Like I didn’t even notice the silverware was stolen spoon by spoon. I chalked this all up to aging. And I was hellbent on aging gracefully and quietly.

But here’s the thing, ladies, It IS aging. It’s menopause. And we need not be martyrs. We need not smell our hair burn, I mean, it is thinning after all, and we need to save what we do have left. We need not suffer in silence when there’s a simple and effective solution. Hormones. Give me all the hormones please. These symptoms are not all in my head. They’re literally the lack of hormones coursing through my veins. Less stigma, more hormones!

Over 20 years of research has debunked the overcautious previous fear about hormones and links to cancer. So speak to your doctor about your specific medical history and circumstances. There’s non-hormonal options too. I know, no one loves taking medications. I get it. We each have to make our own decisions of what we’re comfortable with.

I am here to tell you that I am super comfortable with waking up feeling rested and not struggling to push through each and every day through a heavy fatigue and brain fog. I am here to tell you that I am super comfortable with being able to sleep through the night not waking up to go pee or throw that blanket off me in a night sweat. I am here to tell you I am super comfortable not having to go to the bathroom every time one is offered because I pee so often.

I’m actually super comfortable in my own skin that is not so taut anymore. My gray hair is growing back. My skin is clearing up. We are not made to suffer, yet we as women often feel like suffering sits on our second X chromosome. It is not. Growing old gracefully can be comfortable and gentle and kind.

The cat burglar who stole the silverware one by one? He also stole each comfortable minute one by one in my life, replacing each minute with a heavy weight of fatigue, or brain fog, or jacked up internal body temperature control. I had not realized how heavy and burdened each day had become, until the hormones lifted it all away. It is not hyperbole when I say it literally changed my life. Life literally need not be so hard.

So this is my PSA for sisters to unite and talk loudly about our health woes, and to raise each other up with hormones, a raised fist, or literally helping one of us up from a seated position on the ground. It can be very difficult to get back up these days. So here’s to supporting one another loudly, comfortably, and well informed