I am not made for this world. I used to say this when I had to navigate toxic workplace situations or difficult people. I used to say this when I had to cosplay an extrovert. I mean, I am just a girl.

Then I said it throughout 2025 as people lost their jobs, people lost their purpose, people lost their lives. I say it today because I think I cannot possibly bear one more moment. One more day. Of one more murder. One more disappearance. One more act of cruelty. I am not made for this world.

And yet I know I can bear one more moment. Because I have to. Because I am still here and to not hold all this would be a betrayal, a dismissal, an erasure. And though I may not be made for this world, I will not betray, dismiss, erase. I cannot.

Because these are lives we’re talking about. It doesn’t matter which horrific news story breaks. It doesn’t matter what dehumanizing language you use. It doesn’t matter.  And yet they all matter. Because they’re lives. Humans. Someone’s parent. Someone’s child. Someone’s sibling. Someone’s love.

Someone’s love. I am not made for this world because I love too much. I care too much. I feel too much. It’s part of my charm. I used to think it was a flaw, a weakness, an annoyance. Something to be fixed. I used to think I had to become harder. Stronger. Stoic.

But I’ve come to realize softness is not weakness. It is what connects me to you, to people I will never meet, to someone’s love. And it is this soft connection that makes me strong. It is this connection that makes the collective humanity strong. And I feel like I am not made for this world because I feel these connections crumbling. I’m seeing it rupturing. I’m feeling too much pain.

Pain. I was drawn to my life’s work as a psychotherapist to hold people’s pain. Some say I’m a healer. I am not. I am a holder. I hold the stories. The betrayals, the fear, the cruelty. The pain, the truths, the hurts. You may think holding all this would be too heavy, especially for someone who feels too much.

But it’s not. Because I have learned you can never underestimate someone’s resilience. Time and time again, I witness people who feel so broken, who carry deep losses, who struggle to do each day, show me what they’re made of. This work reminds me of the beauty and power of resilience. This work humbles me as I am tied to both the beauty and the pain.

So I fear maybe I am made for this world. Maybe everything that is happening in the world is breaking me in ways I never imagined, and I am resilient. Maybe when I feel this collective pain I am underestimating myself. Maybe I need to remember the beauty with the pain.

Maybe I am made for this world after all, a world that holds both beauty and pain. A world that sees cruelty and compassion. A world that remembers everyone is someone’s love, and that sometimes we lose that love. A world that feels too much when it all becomes too much.

Maybe I am made for this world, and I need to make this world one that is made for me. And you. And your love. A world that makes sure love triumphs over cruelty. A world that honors the inherent dignity of every sentient being. A world that has more light than darkness.

So I find that I must wipe my tears and soothe my heavy heart and check on my friends and community. I must look for the lights and the helpers and the doers, And I stand up and feel all my feels to push me through each injustice to create more moments of light and love to outnumber the atrocities. I do what I can, when I can. Then I rest and tap into things that bring me joy. And I rinse and repeat. I make the light and do what is right. Light and Right. Rinse and Repeat. I know this is what I am made of. And I am made for this world. And this world is made for me, and all of us. Each and every one of us. And there is so much beauty in that.